Navigating Growth and Embracing Discomfort
An Unexpected Opportunity
Years ago, while I was in school studying computer science, I received a surprising email. I had been selected by my professors to attend the Grace Hopper Conference, and to my astonishment, all expenses were covered. Alongside a handful of other women from Santa Barbara City College, I was offered a chance that felt too good to be true.
The initial email triggered a difficult-to-explain feeling if you haven't been in a position like this. I had the thought that I had inadvertently been swept into a program beyond my league. Perhaps I was a backup?
Is this foreshadowing imposter syndrome? Yes, yes it is. And I'm not going to get into imposter syndrome too much since there are plenty of other articles out there, but if you're not familiar, I encourage you to look it up.
Why Share My Experience
I am considering attending the Grace Hopper Conference again this year and reflecting on the impact it's had on my career and trajectory. To keep it brief: after attending, realized I had imposter syndrome, but I had a new perspective. I started applying to internships despite my self doubt and very quickly landed one at a "unicorn" startup. These days I am more aware of the voice in my head that cautions me not to take risks because 'I'm probably not be good enough after all,' and now I have another voice in my head that continues to remind me I can do this and I deserve the opportunity to prove it.
Over time, I've had the chance to share my experience with other women and some girls still in school. If my journey can inspire even one person to overcome self-doubt or at least accept self-doubt (possibly even doubt from family members or others) but still seize opportunities, then this slightly vulnerable, possibly cheesy blog post is worth sharing.
While browsing recent reviews to see if the conference is still as good as it was years ago, I have found a few mixed reviews. This has also motivated me to share my story here on my blog.
Grace Hopper Conference: A Brief Overview
For those unfamiliar, the Grace Hopper Conference is a celebration of women in technology attended by 30,000+ attendees with 250+ Speakers, 200+ Sessions. Named after the pioneering computer scientist Grace Hopper and aimed at addressing gender diversity in the tech industry. You can find more about the conference on their official website.
Walking into a Sea of Empowerment
David Foster Wallace has this great quote:
There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says 'Morning, boys. How's the water?' And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes 'What the hell is water?'
I felt like I had just discovered that we were in water. I had been navigating the tech world feeling a little alone and a little different, thinking that my struggles and fears were just "the way things are." I didn't think there was a problem or that I felt any different than anyone else - I mean sure...
- I preferred to take my classes online so I didn't have to be in the classroom or lab with a bunch of boys that were trying to one up each other with their showboating of CS knowledge.
- Or CS professors saying "You're either artistic or good at engineering, not both." Well I'm artistic and enjoy graphic design too, what does that mean about my future in CS?
- Or that someone would would loudly bringing up my tinder profile or other personal non-relevant details during lab.
- Or the guy from lab sending mean messages over facebook completely unprompted.
- Or that the driver/teammate for our hackathon inexplicably left us hours from home because he didn't like that I was being friendly with our other teammates. Don't worry my team won Best Women Led Team anyways.
- A highschool computers teacher telling me a computer science degree would be a waste of time and money.
Do any of these situations sound familiar to you?
There in a convention center, surrounded by literally thousands upon thousands of women with diverse journeys – from experienced professionals with doctorates to those, like me, navigating the uncharted seas of their careers and as an adult returning to college again – I felt a sense of belonging that I hadn't experienced in tech before. Talks and panels discussed not only topics like robotics and security but also openly talked about vulnerability at work. Hearing other women openly discuss their challenges, including almost everyone in the conference room admitting to crying at work, was really eye-opening.
There were so many other folks just like me, and some of the things we had been experiencing were completely artificial problems that don't need to exist. Hearing that companies and leaders are looking for solutions to make sure everyone can be confident and welcome at work and school left a big impression on me. And these companies wanted to talk to and interview me! I came to realize, I actually knew quite a bit more than I gave myself credit for, and my background in business was a welcome asset on a team looking for diversity of thought.
Lessons Learned and a Path Forward
The Grace Hopper Conference wasn't just a one-time experience for me. I was fortunate to attend again, the next time as a representative of my employer. While the networking opportunities expanded for connections with my co-workers, there was a lesson to be learned about attending with friends and coworkers.
Attending the conference the first time with a small group of students that I didn't really know allowed me to peel off and immerse myself in the experience. I was able to mingle with fellow attendees and make connections easily with others that were also alone. The following time, I still chatted a bit with other attendees, but since I was there with my employer, the ability to feel out the job market or swap salary information was more limited. Being able to have an open conversation and keep your thumb on the pulse of the job market and what you're worth is important - especially for women, who in 2022 earned an average of 82% of what men earned. And for such an expensive conference, I wouldn't want to pass that up.
Beyond the conference, the tech landscape is evolving. Remote work environments and flexible schedules have widened the doors of opportunity. As a software engineer working from my home office, I can skip out on workplace drama and feeling awkward when the lunch table chit chat is sports news. And I can be selective in what company I work for, ensuring the culture is inclusive and friendly. The the stereotypes in old tech culture has been shifting for years, making space for different ways of contributing. And science shows that a diverse team and teams with more psychological safety lead to better outcomes.
Growth and Comfort
Are you reading this thinking, "oh yeah, she's special though" or whatever kinds of things I used to think too? Nah, no, really, I'm not. There is a huge demand for all kinds of folks including the people that always tinkered with computers since they were a kid AND women that didn't realize the possibilities that computers can bring until later in life, or whatever your background.
If you're curious about having a similar experience to the one I had and attending a conference like Grace Hopper isn't feasible for you, local groups and communities are excellent ways for connecting and learning. Platforms like https://developers.google.com/womentechmakers or https://leanin.org/circles offer spaces to engage and grow.
One of the phrases I'll leave you with that has been so inspirational for me over the years is a quote I heard from the former CEO of IBM, Ginni Rometty during her keynote speech that goes something like:
Growth and comfort can't coexist. You're either comfortable or you're growing. Pick one.
I hope that you pursue growth, even if it's a uncomfortable to do something new. And if you're just starting to examine the "water" you've been swimming in and don't like it, know that you can always try something else. There are amazing, supportive companies out there that want what you bring to the table.